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The Heat

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I have always been the type of person who likes to take walks. Whether in the early morning as the sun rises, late afternoon as the sun sets, or at night with the streets lit by moonlight. These walks did a lot for me. It calmed my mind when I was ridden with anxiety. It energized me when I needed strength to get through a tiring day. It allowed me space to explore my own thoughts and feelings. As a couple of years passed, I stopped taking these walks for several reasons. Usually, because I was busy with other things. But in 2020, during the pandemic lockdown, I decided to try taking walks again. My country's climate was always warm but never too warm to go outside. But that was years ago. The day I decided to walk outside, I was met with an uncomfortable heat. The kind that you can see emanating from the pavement. I tried to power through it but couldn't take my awareness off of how hot it was. That was never a problem before. From then on, I had to correctly time when I would go outside for a walk, which defeated the purpose of taking them when I needed them. I never realized how important it was that the outside had to be a perfect temperature for me to get into a calm or energizing headspace. Because I don't know if I will ever be able to experience it again, I have found other ways to achieve the same feeling I get from those walks. It's funny to think that what was once a habit I formed to care for my mental health is now undone by forces I cannot control.


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